Pickleball Obsession & Midlife Identity Crisis | Clare Frank / Author and Former Fire Chief

We’re coming in hot with:
 🔹 Winging life at 40 hits harder than expected
 🔹 Pre-game rituals feel more chaos than training
 🔹 10,000 steps is outdated and nobody wants to admit it

Plus, Clare Frank from author and former California fire chief joins us to talk about leaving a 30-year career and diving into a year-long pickleball obsession. What started as curiosity turned into a powerful shift in identity, purpose, and connection.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Big Dink Energy — the pickleball podcast that’s half insight, half nonsense, and all entertainment. If you love pickleball, don’t take yourself too seriously, and think a little trash talk makes the game better… you’re in the right place.

KITCHEN TALK

I had this realization the other day…
I always thought by the time you hit 30 or 40, you’d have life figured out.

You’d know what you’re doing.
You’d have answers.
You wouldn’t be Googling how to do basic stuff.

Now I’m 40… and I have no idea what I’m doing.

I’m winging it 99.9% of the time.
I Google everything.

Am I the only one?

Nope.

Middle age hits and you realize… nobody has it together.

You’ve had careers. You’ve done things. You’ve built a life.
And somehow… it still feels like you’re figuring it out day by day.

Like you’re one weird decision away from living in an RV in the backyard.

But priorities shift.

In your 20s, it’s all about stuff — status, things, image.
Now? None of that really matters.

What matters is simple:

• Close people
• Peace
• A life that actually feels good

Success looks different.

And maybe that’s the point.

It’s not that you don’t have it figured out…
It’s that you finally start figuring out what actually matters.

Also — nobody tells you this —
You never stop Googling.

It just changes.

Now it’s:

• How to fix your house
• What insurance paperwork means
• Why your property taxes just went up again

Adulting is just… better questions.

And more paperwork.

PICKLE PALS – CLARE FRANK

Today’s guest brings serious heat.

Clare Frank spent 30 years running into burning buildings as a fire chief.
Then retired… picked up a pickleball paddle… and got completely hooked.

Her new book, Just One More Game, follows her year-long deep dive into the sport — and how it completely took over her life.

Like most people, she didn’t plan it.

She stumbled into pickleball… thought it was some weird backyard game…
Then suddenly, she’s all in.

That’s how it happens.

She made one rule:

Say yes to everything pickleball for a year.

That led to:

• Tournaments
• Travel
• Obsession
• Even playing pickleball inside a maximum-security prison

And that’s where it got real.

Different lives. Different paths.
Same court.

For that moment — none of it mattered.
Just people playing a game.

That’s the power of pickleball.

It strips everything down to:

• Connection
• Competition
• Community

Clare also talks about the shift after retirement.

Leaving a high-intensity career…
And rediscovering creativity, purpose, and identity.

Sometimes you don’t find that next chapter…

You fall into it.

PICK 6

Things you do before pickleball that would be weird anywhere else:

• Crack open a drink before warming up
• Check who signed up before deciding to play
• Take paddle selfies like it’s prom
• Stretch for five seconds and call it good
• Pack more snacks than a toddler playdate

QUICK TIP

Stop playing random games.

Pick one thing before you step on the court —
And commit to it.

That’s how you actually get better.

FINAL THOUGHT

Nobody has it all figured out.

Not at 20.
Not at 40.
Not ever.

But if you can find something that:

• Gets you moving
• Connects you to people
• Makes you lose track of time

You’re doing something right.

That’s it for today.

Follow the show, tell a friend, and leave a review.
Or don’t… and pretend this never happened.

Until next time —
Keep the dink soft and the energy big.